Bashō's Road

to the small poem and the quiet voice within

susan hannus

Susan Hannus

waiting up for her
holding on, letting go
a stone in my shoe

cold wind stirs the branch
the maple leaf mixes with oaks
rake closes the dance

old man rests on bench
beside him, a water can
both vessels empty

7 Comments

  1. Don’t rush autumn, Norb!

  2. A comfortable uneasiness about those words.

  3. When they’re good, they give sooo much.

  4. This poem appears to have adequate formal structure but seems to have a limp message. Regretably, it has all the emotion of a deflated balloon. Phil

  5. I thought it was clear by layout, design (and content) that these are three separate haiku by Susan Hannus, not one poem of three stanzas.

    Perhaps I should have titled it (as I have sometimes done in the past) “Three by…” followed the poet’s name.

    I would add three exceptionally fine haiku by Susan.

    norbert blei

  6. deflated balloon chuckle

  7. very nice haiku Susan. I particularly liked the second one. I’m breaking up with Phil and I don’t even know him. Well.. maybe I do, I’m not sure. It wasn’t memorable. I guess I don’t understand why you have to say anything at all. It wasn’t constructive or kind.
    I’m just sayin… jeanne

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